A Mother's Touch

The first time that the nurse put Victoria in my arms when she was born, I remember thinking that I now had this huge responsibility in my life. I was a mommy. She would come to me for everything from needing a hug, a band aid, to tell me how her day was, to ask me questions about life and anything in between. She was going to look up to me for many days and years to come. I wanted to be ready for her and ready to pick up the pieces if she needed me to. What an awesome responsibility we have as mommies!

The past 3-4 weeks this mommy has been in such a low mind set. I had no energy. I struggled to get out of bed, but when I was in bed I struggled to fall asleep. While going about my day I couldn't focus. I couldn't figure out what it was that I needed to do in the day to get through it and feel like I had accomplished something. Housework and laundry piled up but I just didn't care. That is not like me. I always know and plan my days and accomplish what needs to be done. Yesterday was the worst for me. I got up at 7:30 after not sleeping well at all and I sat on the couch. I sat there until at least 5 pm in the evening. I got up and made myself go to the store so I could feed my family. After dinner and a movie that I picked up Kevin helped me put the kids to bed. It was the next conversation that I had with Victoria that I knew something had to change...she looked at me and said...this was a weird day mommy, I am still in my pj's from this morning and we never had to make our beds! WOW!! After the kids were in bed I sent a text to my mom. I am 31 years old, but I felt like I needed my mommy! :) I knew she would have encouraging words that would help me. She would make it all better just like I make things better for my kids.

I spent a half an hour on the phone with her. She helped me re-focus. I need to stop pushing myself. She also reminded me that I need to focus on the good things in life and not push so hard to fix the things that I may think are broken.

She also offered little suggestions...like changing my diet...taking vitamins. Since my surgery I have had a lot of things going on in this body of mine. Every suggestion she made I made note of.

There is nothing better than a good talk with your mom.

This is our entire family now. Mom you have every right to be proud of this family! The 4 of us each have wonderful families and because of you and dad we are all who we are today!!

So even though I am 31 years old, a quick phone call to my mom made me feel so much better!

I love you mom and I know that you love me! Thank you for everything!

***Just a side note so you don't think that Kevin just sat around and was no help at all...he has been wonderful...going to parent teacher conferences because I didn't have the energy, helping with each meal and just being there for me.***

I am finally taking the time to sit and update my blog with some pictures!! This week has been a very long and strenuous week. You know how I can tell? My house is a disaster and it is 8 PM on a Friday evening and we are all in bed already. Logan is sick right now so I know I will have all day tomorrow to spend cleaning the house and getting it back in shape.

Over the last few days my mind has been on a family that has become so dear to many of us. I don't know them personally, but over the last 18 months we as a family have been praying for them. If you have a minute visit their site ivestrong.com. This family and their little girl has touched so many people lives. It is truly amazing!! Please pray for them over the next days and weeks to come.

Tonight when I put my children to bed I spent an extra minute with each of them just holding them and silently thanking the Lord for my little blessings. We never know when He is going to take them from this earth...I do know that I am so thankful that I know we have eternal life and will all be together again in Heaven.

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Just a couple pictures from last weekend when the kids were on their way out to do some trick or treating! We had fun as a family carving pumpkins and walking door to door. I didn't think the kids would be out that long because it was so cold out, but I think they enjoyed seeing there bags get heavier and heavier of candy and goodies. Would you stop?? :)

Victoria loved being a Jeannie. She had a blast and looks so cute!

When I first brought this costume home for Logan he did not like it and would not even try it on. It must have grown on him because he had a blast with it!!

Logan and Daddy's pumpkin they carved was the scary pumpkin.

Victoria and Mommy's pumpkin.

They were very proud of their pumpkins...

Tonight when I put Logan to bed he had a fever and was so congested. I felt so bad for him. His eyes always look so droopy when he is sick. He is still at that age the he will let me snuggle him when he is sick. I better enjoy it now because soon it will be to cool to snuggle with mommy. ;)

I am praying that it is just the 24 hour bug that hit his sister a couple of weeks ago. Only time will tell though.

The past few weeks have been so different for us. Six weeks ago I found out that I needed surgery. I have been dealing with symptoms for the past 2-3 years and my last OB/GYN didn't really thing to much of the symptoms. Well, 2 months ago when I called to schedule my yearly doctor appointment I asked if I could see a different OB/GYN. The scheduling nurse on the other line said that was not a problem at ALL...come to find out my old OB/GYN was no longer working there anyway. :) So, 2 weeks later I headed in for my appointment armed and ready to demand more tests. I spoke with the doctor for a few minutes and realized that she too was concerned with my symptoms! I was so relived that I had found a doctor that cared!! She suggested surgery on my cervix and after a 2nd consultation with her, Kevin and I we decided that surgery was the way to go.

At first I was so excited that I had found a doctor who listened to me. Then as the surgery drew closer I realized that I was indeed very nervous. The surgery consisted of "removing" part of my cervix. This would hopefully and actually heal my cervix, but they would also be doing a biopsy. I wasn't nervous about the biopsy; I was more nervous about what I would find out after the surgery. What would the test results say and what if they were positive? No likes to hear the word cancer. When I heard that it could be a possibility I was jolted to my core!

Kevin and I spent a lot of time in prayer this past week and just laid it before the Lord. He was in control and He knew the outcome! I had to have faith!!

On Tuesday we headed to the hospital and about 5 hours later we were home and resting pretty comfortably. The next few days I laid pretty low. I was due to find out my results on Friday. In the meantime, we as a family were SO blessed. Each night we had meals brought to our house. And when I say meals, I don't just mean something simple...I mean MEALS!!!! One evening we had a roast, potatoes and carrots and for dessert we had yummy brownies. The next night we had delicious meatloaf, broccoli/cheese casserole, fresh sweet corn, homemade bread and more dessert!! The following night we had lasagna, bread sticks, salad and even more dessert!!

Victoria and Logan asked me why we didn't have dessert each night when I made dinner! HAHA!! Honestly, I have NEVER felt more blessed in my life. Thank you to all of you who brought meals and thank you Joanna for lining them all up for us.

On Thursday, Kevin came home and asked me how I was doing/feeling. Honestly, I was going NUTS!!! I am not one to sit around the house and do nothing. I studied for a long while each day, Facebook actually got on my nerves and just sat around. I never took a nap....I don't sleep that well during the night so I figured I better not make it worse by sleeping during the day.

Thank you to each one of you that prayed for us. I received text messages, e-mails and facebook messages from so many people. How do people get through difficult times when they do not have Christ to lean on and have others praying for them? I wouldn't have had the strength this past week. SERIOUSLY!!

On Friday I got a call from my doctor. There was no cancer!!! They did diagnosis me with moderate Cervical Dysplasia...abnormal growth of cells. While this is not considered cancer it is considered precancerous. They removed the precancerous cells the day of my surgery.

Again, I am so thankful for all the prayers! I am healing looking forward to getting back to the routine in our family!! God is so good to us and a I am thankful for my health.

Changes...

I am not a person that really likes changes. I like stability, knowing what is going to happen from one day to the next. I like my days and weeks planned out, but that is not how it works all the time. I have to be willing to make changes in my life. I have to be willing to adapt to those around me.



This past Monday, we made changes in our household. Nothing to big, but nonetheless it is a change. Kevin has started classes at the local fire department to be come a firefighter. We have talked about this for as far back as I can remember, but when we talked about it, it was just in passing....like..."that would be a cool opportunity"...or..."I could fit that into my schedule being self-employed". We never really talked about it like it would actually happen. Then on last Wednesday he was approached by a friend of ours, Thursday he filled out the application and on Monday he started. So....this is a change for us. He has classes every Monday night for the next few months and then will be on call every 6th night. After those classes are over he would then like to start the classes to become an EMT. Personally, I think that sounds more exciting than being a fire fighter. :) But that is just my personal opinion.

Many people have commented to us that this is a HUGE decision and can be very time consuming. WELL....after seeing the book that he has to study from for the next 4 months I believe it, but I also believe that there is no one more ready for this challenge than Kevin. Yes, it will take away from our family time, but for the past 4 years, we have been so fortunate to have Kevin around as often as we have. With him being self employed he is around a WHOLE lot more than a daddy that works outside of the home. So....all that to say that I too am up for this challenge along with Kevin. There will be calls in the middle of the night, there is training on the weekend, there are meetings during the week nights and and much more.

So as we venture down this road I will keep you up to date on how it goes. As of now, I have a study partner and I LOVE that. We are doing this together...and that is what marriage is all about!!!

A Weekend with the Love of My Life!!!

I had been looking forward to this weekend for sometime now. A friend of mine where I work gave me tickets to the last Cubs game. I have had them for while and wanted to surprise Kevin with a weekend away. On our budget I knew that it wasn't going to be possible, so I set up for a sleepover at Grandpa and Lisa's house.

All day Saturday the kids were looking forward to their sleepover. I was a bit worried because Victoria had been sick on Friday, and I just kept praying that her fever was gone. She showed no signs of it come Saturday evening so we loaded the kids up and dropped them off. When we got back in the truck we knew we were planning on running to the grocery store, but Kevin had a plan...I do not have a winter coat and he knew I would need one the next day sitting at the Cubs stadium. So he took me to the mall and MADE me buy one. As a mom, when the budget is tight, I will go without just to make sure my kids have what they need. It doesn't bother me at all, and growing up I clearly remember my mom doing this too. So I was able to get a new coat and even used my forgotten gift card to the mall.

The next morning we got up nice and early and headed into Chicago. It was so nice to just spend time with Kevin...it is a bit weird sitting in the truck talking to him with no interruptions. I loved it! We walked around the stadium and then headed to Harry Caray's for some lunch. Yummy!! I love their food. After lunch we headed into the stadium to find our seats. They were PERFECT seats and we had an awesome view!! (Thanks Jim for the tickets!!!)

By the time we both got home we were exhausted. What is it with that?? We picked up the kids, headed home and just crashed. We did have a wonderful time and I am so thankful for Kevin and all he does for us as a family. It was so nice to just have the time to spend together and be able to reconnect as a husband and wife.

Busy Saturday!!!

We had a wonderful Saturday today!! Busy, but oh so wonderful!! Victoria, Logan and myself needed to get out of the house for a bit this afternoon to give Daddy some quiet time to sleep. We headed out to the apple orchard for some baking apples and cider for Daddy. The kids were able to play on the tractors, feed the goats and help me with the apples. We had fun and the weather was beautiful. After a few more errands we were able to head home and use the apples for the one reason I bought them...BAKING!!!

I had asked Victoria earlier that morning if she wanted to help me and of course she did!! I had been craving Baked Apples. YUMMY!!! They were SO GOOD!!

Getting ready to core them!!!

We filled them up with brown sugar, cinnamon and pecans.

Of course Logan wanted to help too. :) Actually, he loves watching the cooking show and loves helping me in the kitchen.

All ready to go in the oven!! Yummy. My mouth was watering and I couldn't wait to eat them...

....and they were so delicious!!!



This evening Kevin was out working on his truck and Logan pulled up the handy dandy yellow garage stool and wanted to help daddy fix the truck.

He loved it and I am pretty sure Daddy did too.

He could just barely reach but was able to unscrew what ever they were working on.

Daddy had to tell him what each part was and what it did. It was so cute watching them work on the truck.

Being Organized, Always Helps!!

I love being organized. I love going to bed each night with my house picked up, kitchen spotless, coffee pot ready and lunches made for the following day. It just is a really nice feeling. I know there are others of you out there like me! :)

This year Victoria is in the 2nd grade and Logan is in K-5. I don't expect to much homework from Logan this early in the year, but I know eventually it will start coming. Victoria on the other had has flash card homework each night, spelling words, vocabulary and reading. It can EASILY take her an hour to get through it all. I would eventually like to buy her a desk for in her room (the kitchen offers WAY to many distractions) but until then she does her homework at the kitchen table. Kevin has been wonderful about doing homework with her when they get home from school. THANK YOU, KEVIN!!

With having two children in school it seems like we get an entire ream of paper sent home each night about various announcements, letters from teachers, school work and so on. I am always going through paperwork for at least 20 mins when I get home. So....back to me being organized. Everything has to have a place in my home! EVERYTHING!

Last year Kevin put up this cork board and I love it!! This year I went out and bought trays so both Victoria and Logan have their certain tray. I keep the papers that I may need to reference later on down the road and the others get pitched.

They also each get 1/2 of the cork board. I always like to know what they are doing through the week so I keep their GOAL sheets up along with the monthly lunch menu. At the beginning of each month they get to choose 2 days a week that they would like to order hot lunch. Victoria LOVES hot lunch. Logan...not so much. I end up making his lunch most every day of the week.

Usually I hang up pieces of artwork that they bring home too. I haven't had any come home yet, but I cant wait!! I love my cork board and I love how organized it keeps me!! :)

So this is my new favorite, quiet corner of the house! ;) I am preparing to take the series 7 Securities License Exam. It will take me longer to get through because my family comes first but have started my way through this monster of a book and I REFUSE to go back!!! I started September 1st and am still going!

Each evening after the kids are down I head to couch and stay there till 10 or 11. I have the encouragement from my hubby and for that I am thankful. Last night he folded 3 loads of laundry while I learnt about securities. :) I would not be able to accomplish this HUGE task without him...and I love him for it!! Last night Victoria asked me what I was going to do after she went to bed. I told her I was going to study for a test. She looked at me and said...aren't mommies to old for tests?? :)