This school year started with changes. MANY changes. Personally, I didn't want the school year to start. Don't get me wrong I love routines. I love knowing just what needs to be done each and every evening. I am more organized during the school year and things just flow....well they just flow better!
I didn't want the school year to start because I was battling something deep inside of me...just like last year. Last year we made the decision to put our kids in a local private school. I was thrilled. Little did we know at that time, that my hours would be cut back and Kevin would go from having so many jobs to barley nothing at all! My battle was discontentment, anger and complete let down. I felt NO happiness within me.
I knew that a decision would have to be made about school again this year. Please before you read this don't judge me, don't roll your eyes and don't think I didn't pray! I prayed that the Lord would give me the desires of my heart! My desire was to have my children back at the private school....but we knew that because of certain circumstances (that I don't care to go into on blogger) that it wasn't an option this year. Plain and simple. End of story.
After many tears and thinking I was a failure as a mom I knew I needed to make one call and that was to the public school. Now when I say public school this is NO city public school. We live in a little town of less than 3,000 people....but it is still a public school. A school that does not allow prayer and the Bible in it. Something that we have instilled in our children's lives.
I feel as if I have separated my children from their friends at church. I feel as if I have separated my family in some ways too.
I have had the eyes look at me by some when they find out our kids at in a public school that I have made a COMPLETE wrong decision. It hurts, but only I know.
Well, I feel at peace now. Each morning as I watch them get on their buses I know they are learning. I know they are taken care of. I know that they know I love them! On my way to work each morning I have a 30 minute drive. I have started praying for my two little ones all the way there...I pray that they will continue to grow and love the Lord. We pray each morning as a family before they leave after our morning devotions.
We have had the "talk" that there is no praying in this school, but they (Victoria and Logan) are allowed to pray to themselves before each spelling test, before each lunch, before they react...just pray. Logan's response....like in our brains where no one hears?? Yes, bud. In your brain. :)
I didn't post pictures today of their first days but I will. I needed to blog. It is sometimes my outlet...and today it was again.
3 comments:
It's such a hard decision on what to do about schooling! Eli is only 2, and the 2nd one isn't even born yet (come on February!), but even now we are talking about what we are going to do for school. My husband didn't grow up as a Christian and was in public school all his life. I grew up in a private school. We both have our ideas and thoughts. It's just hard to know what God is wanting for us, especially since we have a few years :-) I'm sorry that you feel like people are treating you differently because of it. In our church, MOST of the kids actually go to public school, and our church is 1200 people! I think it's rare that you'd find someone going to private school. So, we are tugged in several directions. Praying for peace and knowledge that this is the decision for your family that God has given you!!
Dear Heather,
Thanks for sharing your heart and struggles with us blogging friends! I'm so sorry to hear that some of your church family didn't react supportively. My hubby and I are both products of public schools and God preserved us in purity and theology. There is hope! It's not like God says in the Bible, "send your kids to Christian school and they'll turn out great". Sounds like you're making a huge effort at home to prepare them for what they're facing in school -- the armor of God will work wonders in protecting them!
A friend who I respect tremendously who is a deep lover of God and of Scripture purposefully stopped homeschooling her 4 kids and put them in public school so that their family could be a light in their community. That is a HUGE bonus to being involved in public school. How easy it is for us to become so wrapped up in our family, church, and private schools that our lives don't even touch lost souls around us!
I hope those thoughts encourage you, Heather! And remember that GOD put you and Kevin in charge of your children and HE will enable you to make the best decisions possible for your precious little ones!
Sending you e-hugs,
Alicia
I know these decisions must be agonizing! We are just on the verge of them ourselves. I am SO sorry that you have felt judged and not supported! Like Alicia said, sending your kids to a Christian school does not mean they will trust in Christ and live a Christian life. The MOST important thing, IMO, is their parents and what is taught and lived at home. You are such a godly, loving and careful mom for your precious children! You are going where God has led; and you'll never know what each year will hold or if he'll lead you to a different school.
I'm glad that God has given you peace about this, and pray that things will continue to go well for Victoria and Logan!
Love,
Katie
Post a Comment